If the hat could talk

Where is that god awful stench coming from? Why, from 'neth the hat of Benji Madden!
That hat has many stories to tell. Here at the perfumery we've rolled each and every memoir into one succinct thesis in a bottle!

- Stale beer
- Perspiration salt residue
- Cheese doodle snacks
- Coca cola
- Worn guitar plectrums
- Musty incense
- Strawberry thickshakes
- Steaming undergarments
- Oily scalp
- Tarnished silver
- Eye liner
- Cheese pizza

Rub the inner lining of your most prized hat with the formula and wear it night and day. Slowly but surely, the aroma will waft into the nasal passages of unsuspecting heiresses (i.e Paris Hilton) and hypnotize them into persuing intimate relations with you and promoting your business endevours for free!