Fragrant like Federline

Kevin Federline is one of the most over rated fathers and yet, the most unknown for his pristine natural fragrance. All those free moisturizer samples in the mail, since his declaration of glamour/victim-fatherhood can't hurt either!

- Diet pepsi
- New Nike shoes
- Scalp conditioner
- Wintermint gum
- Basketball skids
- Hawaiian pizza
- Regurgitated toddler meals
- Whisky sours
- New leather car seats
- Protein shakes
- Bacon and egg rolls
- Stale cigarette smoke
- Sea kelp facial scrub
- Sweaty gym towel
- Triple woven ski socks

Crunch the mixture together as if it were a stress relief ball. One more flirtatious, whimpering plea for forgiveness from your pop wreck of an ex wife (Britney) and you'll be ready to EAT the perfume! In that case, add a strong helping of artificial sweetener and pop in the microwave for a few minutes.