Abduliscious

As far as old school saucy babes go, Paula Abdul is as fit as a fiddle. Her dopey, fatigued, vacant, bubbly, stoned persona on American Idol aside - her fragrance belts a pitch that no contestant could ever sing!

- Menthol cigarettes
- Virgin Pina coladas
- Turkey sandwiches
- Vanilla shampoo
- Hair glitter spray
- New elastic bands
- Teeth whitening gel
- Mentos candy
- Sharpie ink
- Nail glue
- Watermelon lip gloss
- Compact powder
- Fish oil capsules
- Kiwi fruit juice
- No Dose caplets

Direct your stylist with specific instructions to apply the formula into your facial make up routine. If she has any hesitation fire her on the spot, call security and your lawyers then steal someone elses' assistant. You are the vision of a pedigree poodle, extra care must be provided for your appearance. Remind them of that.